The season I am in

It's still winter here in the coastal mountains of Oregon.  There is currently snow on the ground, which is beautiful but I am not really happy about. 

This week the girls had one holiday, one snow day, and two late starts at school.  I was an hour late to an appointment because of the late start, and we had to cancel a commitment that we had this evening because we don't know if there will be more snow tonight and it will be dangerous to drive.

Just a couple of weeks ago, we were commenting on the mild winter and the early flowers coming out.  The daffodils were almost ready to bloom.

This morning as we drove to school, everything was coated in white: the pastures, the trees, the distant hills covered in fir trees. It was so beautiful you wanted to just stop and soak it all in. The sun was coming out, beginning to melt the snow, which was falling off of the trees and raining down on the car as we passed.  The river was reflecting the blue of the sky, bordered by the whiteness of the snow-covered trees.

I love looking at the snow, but I don't love it changing my plans. I don't like to have to make a plan B, to give up something I had planned to do today, or this week.  You would think that after living in Panama for 18 years, I would be good at being flexible, but somehow I am worse at it as time goes by.

Sometimes, it's hard to love the season you are in. I love for spring, for nice weather, for sun, for more days we can walk on the beach, or hike with the kids.  I don't want to be in the cold, rainy, snowy, icy season.  I want to be on to the next season.  I want the days to be longer.

But as we all know, seasons change when they are meant to change, and not when we want them to.

In life, I am ready to be on to the next season. I am tired of the in-between season.  I am tired of waiting and asking and wondering what we are supposed to be doing. I don't always love this adventurous life of ours, I want to be more settled.  But this season will not change just because I want it to.

I want the fund-raising, the hoping, the planning, the packing, the wondering to be over. I want it all to be settled, to just focus on what is to come.

I want to be in a place of faith, to look out at the snow on the ground and the trees and believe that in a few short weeks we will be in Kona, beginning our Family DTS and learning and being stretched and seeing God come through for us. 

Sometimes it's easier to doubt.  It's easier to think, "Let's come up with a plan B and forget this business that requires so much risk and faith."

But I am fighting it.  I am fighting to look at the snow and just enjoy the beauty, and roll with what ever tomorrow brings.  This is the season I am in, however much I want it to be spring.

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